Puberty struggles experienced were lonesome and confusing. Since I felt uncomfortable having my body shape and alignment change. Sorry for too much info. I got to do this so that my message will be clear.
My mom passed when I was 12, http://superiordomain.net/astounding-illness/ and that left me with some insecurities. I had elder sisters I could ask about some of the girls’ stuff. I actually lived with one of them, however, I could not bring myself up to say anything. Because then, I was very shy when it comes to body issues and didn’t want to talk about it.
What was it about these puberty struggles?
My menses started at 13 and did not want anybody at home to know. Since I was very uncomfortable about it. And shy too. Hence that made it difficult for me to have access to the right sanitary pads. I also started developing breasts, and hips. When it came to hips that were a huge torcher to me. Being an hour-glass girl after my mom, of course, I would try to hide under sweaters. The boys added salt to the wound ’cause they would check me out. I did not want to wear a bra…In my mind, I thought if I would ignore the inevitable, the features won’t be apparent. I really thought I looked older and bigger than my peers. Therefore I admired late bloomers. Them puberty years’ struggles were really twisting my mind.
At school, I did not like to change into a swimming costume. Hence feeling like the odd one out, to my self and others. Leaving me feeling like I was abnormal. I would give an excuse that I could not swim, which is true. Yet, the main reason was I was shy.
Anybody like me, out there? or who knows somebody like that?
The mirror and camera have become an obsession today
It seems there are other issues or just the same but wearing different faces. Through reading around and talking to young girls, I figured the following. Some girls think they are not skinny enough, pretty enough even light enough. Don’t have a big enough burst or think their burst is too small. It could be about their legs( they are too skinny or too thick). Those with acne most of the time struggle ’cause they try all sorts of remedies to no avail. A comparison of clothing is also a big one. How fashionable someone is and how much of a big wardrobe is at one’s disposal.
I want to fit in. I want to look cool. l want to look like the rest of them are also major outcries.
Sometimes there is a comparison among siblings, which is not healthy for the family love and unity. It’s of utmost importance for parents to know how to affirm their girls without comparison. Somebody said ‘the selfie-issue’ is leading most of the younger girls into depression. Because of comparison and trying to keep up. I can’t remember who said it, but I believe their observation is right. Social media, for the most part, isn’t doing us a favor. Our young girls are loaded with negative information. They, therefore, really need some good direction..
Questions like the ones below are their torment and torture
How do I measure up?
What do other girls think about me?
Do boys think I am attractive?
Do they think I am cool?
What should we do about girls undergoing puberty years
We really need to be on the lookout for any issues. And listen to them plus attend to any of their struggles. To affirm, encourage, and motivate our young girls to accept their looks. They need to know that everybody is beautiful, but we are different in shape and bone structures. And if they are overweight, carefully talk to them about it. Because usually when a girl is overweight, they are already beating themselves up about it. As parents, teachers, or older women, we can teach them to clean themselves up. And enhance their beauty without going overboard.
Girls desperately need the right kind of validation.